Never See Me Again Makes You Happy
A Relationship Will Non Make Y'all Happy (And then Stop Looking For Happiness There)
"My significant other makes me so happy!"
"Thanks to my significant other, I finally found happiness!"
"I'm done with my significant other, they just don't make me happy anymore."
"Break up with your significant other, you deserve to be happy!"
When I read or hear any variation of the above quotes, I cringe and die a little inside. Why have we go people who willingly and voluntarily allow someone else to control the state of our happiness? Nosotros've collectively accepted that information technology'south totally fine to give someone else the remote command to our emotional state.
A relationship is not meant to make y'all happy. It is nobody's job to make you happy (unless y'all're rich and tin hire someone to fulfill all your needs, then past all means!). To put an expectation on someone else that their commitment to you is a delivery to proceed you in a abiding state of happiness, is fucking lunacy. It'due south insane! Nosotros've all drank the same Kool-Aid and we're all similar, yeah, it's cool to let someone else dictate how happy or unhappy I am without having whatever responsibility to myself.
You Brand YOURSELF AS HAPPY OR Every bit UNHAPPY AS YOU Desire. Don't put that kind of pressure level on someone else. Don't allow someone else to have rule over how you lot experience on a day to solar day ground.
Yes, relationships are wonderful and they add and then much to our lives, but they are not here in being to provide a happiness we can't detect in ourselves. Relationships don't fill a void or braze an emotional band-aid on your pain. Relationships aren't the missing slice to your fulfillment. A person is not your other or better half.
You are a complete person without a relationship. Let's say that once more:
Yous ARE A Complete AND WHOLE PERSON WITHOUT A Relationship.
A human being or woman is not a BFF pendant, where they have the other half of your heart. Our happiness or our wholeness is non outside of ourselves. At that place is no finding happiness. This is not a scavenger hunt. You experience happy. You don't find it or lose it or reach information technology or purchase it. Y'all experience it, just every bit much every bit you feel sadness or anger or frustration or attraction.
Stop putting these expectations on romantic relationships. We've gone also far off center from the truthful nature of romantic relationships. And, because of this, because we don't understand that a human relationship is not meant to fulfill a gap or void or bring usa happiness, nosotros have nevertheless to experience the gifts of what romantic love actually offers.
In a human relationship, you grow. You're attracted to someone based on how much they can allow you to abound, to understand parts of yourself you couldn't sympathize without them, to experience what it's like to be vulnerable. And through that vulnerability, you lot acquire more than about who you are; you shed layers of yourself that don't serve y'all; you heal painful memories, and share and release trauma.
Relationships are most healing, are about a person who you feel so strongly attached to that you can't assist but face the types of growth moments that come in a fight that rips you lot apart or during a moment and so intimate you see yourself differently. Y'all come up against your ain beliefs nigh dear and commitment and vulnerability and resolve and strength.
And a relationship, because of the intensity of feelings, presents to y'all your most raw and vulnerable. You become downward to the center of yourself. It'southward not pretty. It'south not happy. It'due south not brilliant and shiny. It's not all forenoon sex and brow kisses. It's messy. And it's painful. And it'southward an identity crisis.
And it's a mirror showing you every part of yourself you're aback of, that you lot hate virtually yourself, that you wish you lot could hide away. It'southward nakedness. It's beautiful. And it's miserable.
And it's life. It's life sped up and put correct in front of your confront. It'due south your reflection and it forces you to choose the parts of yourself you want to keep, the parts yous want to alter, and the parts you demand to discard so you tin can feel a deeper level of beloved with this person in forepart of you.
It's not sunshine and rainbows and a abiding euphoria. It's not about breaking up because you're no longer happy. A human relationship ends when you've each served your purpose to each other, in terms of growth. You part means when yous're meant to part ways, when there'southward zip more yous can learn from each other, when you lot've, quite literally, grown out of each other.
And that'due south what love is. Love is higher expressions of yourself. Beloved is expansion. Dearest is openness and vulnerability and rawness and nakedness. Love is facing your darkest parts of yourself. Beloved is being ashamed one twenty-four hour period and liberated the next. Love is infrequently pure, unadulterated ecstasy and happiness.
And that's okay. We're hither for more than only abiding elation. We're here to, each day, shed layers of ourselves, be better versions of who we used to be, and to be strong and vulnerable, and to abound. 
Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/jamie-varon/2014/04/a-relationship-will-not-make-you-happy-so-stop-looking-for-happiness-there/
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